Are You Hungry?
Words by Tuso Madiri
As human beings, we rely on food as our source of fuel for survival, but beyond its biological purpose, food can serve as the foundation of our community building skills. I have shared many meals with family, friends, colleagues, classmates etc., and they have all led to us further under- standing one another. The role that food plays in our relationships is fascinating! There is some- thing so vulnerable about taking the time to prepare a meal for someone, or communicating over one you have purchased, which allows food to become a vehicle for connection.
“What are you getting?’
Brunch is a bit of a buzzword at the moment and rightfully so! There isn’t much that compares to going for brunch with a friend when in dire need of a catch-up! It is far less about the contents of the meal and more about the time of day and the chance to listen and be listened to. My favourite brunch memory is from an afternoon spent with my best friend after we had been on a night out the previous evening. Really and truly, we did not need to take each other through our memories of the evening because we were beside each other the whole time, but we wanted to. I chased the last of my beans around my plate with my fork as she detailed a conversation she had by the toi- let cubicles, then she devoured her panini as I practically re-enacted the fight we saw outside the venue. This exchange over food was perfect because as we were nourishing our bodies, we were also nourishing our minds.
“Have you eaten?”
Dinner is a meal that makes me think of being at home with family. In our adult years, my mum has made a bigger deal of my siblings and I returning home to have dinner together, to keep us connected. It is very wholesome, but I can’t help but think back to the angsty, emotionally charged dinners that my mum and I shared in my teen years. Whenever we had a disagreement, I would retreat to my bedroom and opt for the silent treatment. A couple of hours later, I’d notice a spicy scent in the air, then she’d peek her head around my bedroom door asking, “have you eaten?”.
Waving the white flag.
I’d try to hold back a smile as I shook my head. We’d head downstairs together, plate our food, sit on the sofa and watch the news as we ate. Once she decided the silence had gone on long enough, we would talk it out and start laughing about the latest update on her work drama. Sometimes, she didn’t need to say “sorry” because I knew she was sorry from the time that she took to make my favourite meal, plus, there is a good chance that it was my turn to say sorry anyway.
“Fancy a sweet treat?”
I have a raging sweet tooth so I love dessert. The moment I finish my last bite of dinner, I’m itch- ing for sugar, so when I hear the words “sweet treat”, I come running. Most recently, I have been reflecting on how this phrase has been used in my friendships as a way to keep spending time with one another. Whether we are chilling at home, or out and about, when we come to the end of our time together, someone will suggest grabbing a treat and that becomes our next adventure! An extra hour of scouring the streets for the perfect delight to satisfy our new desire! Once we land upon the perfect delicacy, we applaud ourselves and utter phrases like, “I needed this” or “that’s what I was looking for!”. But once again, it wasn’t really about the food, it was just a tool to further our time of connection!
I hope you find a moment to enjoy the relationships you build around food! (and grab a sweet treat of course!)